She's JV to your varsity
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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