is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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