Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
