I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
