she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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