She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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