It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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