Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
