at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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