1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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