At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
