if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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