Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
