a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
