You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
