i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
