so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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