white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
