I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Holy shit dude........stairs
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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