Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Randomize
