Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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