Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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