She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
