are you still at the devil's house?
That's intense
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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