the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
