I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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