There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
