I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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