OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
