what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
