Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
