We're facebook friends in real life
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
