So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize