I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
