the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
