I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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