Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize