Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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