physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I can't put those talents on a resume
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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