Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
