I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
