Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
