She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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