I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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