I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
