I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
