A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
