Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize