over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
