I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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