Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize