I am spending my child support on dildos
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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