Sponge bath it is.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
only if we run a train.
done.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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