I just made out with a guy for $7.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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