Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
