there was a trapeze. enough said
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
