I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
