i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
