Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
