he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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