I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
