Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize