Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
