There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize