Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize