i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
