I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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