How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
