Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
